


Smiles Hold the Most Pain

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Comfort/Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse, if you dont like lots of angst and emotions then dont read, jk lmao, tbh i dont even know what i wrote, they run away together and live happily ever after, yamaguchi is abused and tsukishima finds out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4760675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" The blonde countered irritably, immediately regretting the harsh tone of voice when he saw the shorter boy's eyes squeeze shut in dread.<br/>"Y-You can't tell anyone about this, okay? Tsukki..?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry if this really sucks lol i wrote this at 12 am because i got sort of an idea and i just went with it ??

 

It was early fall, the leaves on the trees had just started to turn a variety of breathtaking yellows, reds, and oranges. It was Yamaguchi's favorite time of the year for multiple reasons, but mostly because when it started to turn colder, Tsukishima wanted to cuddle more. It also meant that he was able to stay over at Tsukishima's house more, since Tsukki never made him walk back home in the cold. They usually hung out at his house after school and practice anyways. His friend would often worry about his health, which Yamaguchi thought was kind of cute, saying that he would catch a cold if he were to walk home so late at night. Yamaguchi would just happily accept the offers of staying the night, since he really didn't want to go home— for multiple reasons. Reasons that he could never talk about to anyone, not even to Tsukki. When the blonde got curious and questioned him about his family or his home life, since he made quite an effort to hide it from him, it took all his willpower to keep a straight face and lie to him. He hated lying to Tsukki, but it was definitely better than having to deal with his stepfather finding out that he told someone about what happens at home.

Yamaguchi sat on the steps to Tsukishima's house, swinging his legs back and forth as he waited for his friend. While he waited, he admired how beautiful Tsukki's yard was. The green grass was full of scattered brightly colored leaves. He couldn't help but giggle to himself as he remembered a few years back when they decided to make piles of leaves and jump into them. The way the blonde boy's cheeks reddened as they accidentally fell on top of each other as they threw themselves into the piles of leaves. Constant giggles and flashes of Tsukki's beautiful smile clouded his mind. The memory was so vivid and serene it seemed as if it was just yesterday.

Suddenly saddened by the thought of how happy and carefree they both were years ago, his smile faltered once he heard the door slam shut behind him. Turning his head, he saw a bored looking blonde staring back at him. Yamaguchi quickly put a wide smile back on his face, standing up to greet his friend. He noticed a dark blue scarf tucked around his friend's neck and wondered if his mother had forced him to wear it. Biting his lip, he refrained from mentioning it.

"Morning Tsukki!" Yamaguchi's too perky for morning voice rang through the brisk autumn air. His friend just responded with an inaudible mumble and started to walk down the driveway, not bothering to wait for him. The brunette's smile fell, turning into a small pout as he raced to catch up with his friend. He knew the blonde was not a morning person, but still.

"Tsukki—wait!" Yamaguchi yelled from behind, grabbing onto the taller one's hand and threading his cold, freckled fingers through Tsukishima's softer, warmer fingers. Frowning, he looked up at Tsukki only to find his golden eyes already staring down at him.

"Tsukki you really need to learn how to communicate in the morning," The freckled boy puffed his cheeks at him in annoyance, his hand squeezing Tsukki's for some sort of response. It was often the blonde didn't say a word to him in the mornings, but it didn't bother him too much. He just enjoyed the comfort of his friend's presence.

"I did communicate, you just don't have ears." Tsukishima murmured, focusing his gaze back in front of him.

"Yes I do!" Yamaguchi shot back, glaring back at his friend who mocked his lack of attention span. "Why are you always so mean in the morning?"

"It's not called being mean, it's called stating the obvious." The blonde's voice stayed relatively monotone as he spoke, despite his sharp tongue.

Yamaguchi opened his mouth to shoot back another comment, but he was stopped by his friend's worried glance at his neck out the corner of his eye. Furrowing his eyebrows, he put a hand to his neck and abruptly realized why his friend had been staring by the way the area stung to the touch. He stopped, unthreading his fingers from Tsukki's and dropping his head to the ground.

"Tadashi, why does your neck have red scratches all over it?" Tsukishima stopped along with him, coming closer to observe the wounds. The handprints that surrounded the boy's pale freckled neck looked red and irritated.

The blonde didn't need to think twice, his observant mind already piecing together the puzzle.

Yamaguchi shook his head, using his hands to cover the red marks on his neck even though they stung terribly. "It's just a scratch, Tsukki." Yamaguchi's voice had turned from lively to hoarse in a matter of seconds.

Tsukishima narrowed his intimidating golden eyes that he knew made Yamaguchi uncomfortable when he was lying. 

"I-It's really nothing to worry about. I just must have accidentally scratched myself in my sleep or something. I do have pretty long fingernails," Yamaguchi choked out a forced laugh, but the blonde could clearly see the tears welling up in the freckled boy's brown eyes.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" The blonde countered irritably, immediately regretting the harsh tone of voice when he saw the shorter boy's eyes squeeze shut in dread.

"Y-You can't tell anyone about this, okay? Tsukki, please!" He pleaded, his voice timid as his shoulders shook with fear. Flashbacks started replaying in his head that refused to stop, pain radiating throughout his whole body as he induced his step father's blows. The sting of the back of his hand against his cheek to the tightening hands against his neck. He could feel the pain, even when it wasn't there physically. He could _see_ the fury in his stepfather's eyes. His stepfather had warned him time after time that if the word had ever gotten out, they'd have to move to a different town and he'd never get to see Tsukki again. He'd probably go through much worse then than he was going through now. His heart raced at the thought and he grabbed at his friend's hand again for reassurance that he was still there.

"Don't leave," Yamaguchi's voice sounded so fragile and needy, gripping Tsukki's hand tighter.

The blonde let out an exasperated sigh as he began to unravel his scarf with one hand, while he squeezed Yamaguchi's hand back with the other. He placed the scarf over Yamaguchi's shoulders, gently wrapping it as carefully as he could around his neck to avoid irritation. Tsukishima listened to the freckled boy blubber nonsense as he adjusted the scarf to cover the wounds, but soon stopped as he saw the tears streaming down his muddy, freckled cheeks.

"Yams," Tsukishima spoke softly to the other boy, but he kept rambling, ignoring everything and everyone around them as if he were in his own world. He rolled his eyes, kneeling down to place a steady hand on Yamaguchi's shoulders. He had to get him to stop before anyone started to take notice. Wiping the fresh tears on Yamaguchi's cheeks away with his thumb, Tsukishima rubbed small, comforting circles on his temples to sooth him.

"Tadashi, stop. I'm not going to tell anyone, but just please calm down for fucks sake. You're starting to make a scene."

The smaller boy sniffled at the sound of his name, finally opening his eyes to see Tsukishima's staring back at him, silently telling him to stay calm as people started to pass by them. The brunette nodded, wiping his nose and eyes with the back of his sleeve.

"I think I-I'm okay now, thank you Tsukki." Yamaguchi's hiccuped, his voice thick with tears, but still managed to give Tsukki a small, sad smile. The fact that Tsukki had just witnessed him having a breakdown was embarrassing, but he felt oddly better about his situation now that someone he trusted knew. He concluded that he wouldn't have to lie to Tsukki anymore, which made his heart throb.

"We'll still have to talk about this later, but we can wait until you calm down more," The blonde's voice sounded distant in his ears while his mind raced with anxiety, but he just nodded, hugging Tsukki's arm securely as they picked up their pace and started walking to school again as if nothing happened.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i have no idea what the plot line for this is yet and im just kinda writing as i go
> 
> yikes @ how bad i think this is

“Tsukki, why is everyone looking at us weirdly?” Yamaguchi whispered to the taller boy, unconsciously moving his body closer to Tsukishima’s as they walked.

The blonde and the brunette pushed themselves through the crowds of students rushing to classes, some of whom would not stop staring at them. Yamaguchi hated attention and being noticed in general, unless it was by Tsukki. The uncomfortable stares made his insides curl into knots that couldn’t be undone. Yamaguchi just wanted to reach out for Tsukishima’s hand, but he knew that they couldn’t do that in public. People would judge them and Yamaguchi wasn’t emotionally stable enough to withstand the talk that came with it. 

“Just ignore them.” Tsukishima replied back under his breath, brushing his fingers against Yamaguchi’s when no one was looking. He could tell the smaller boy was bothered by all the attention. “They’re probably just staring because we’re always early to class and they never see us.” 

Even if Tsukishima was right, it still didn’t unsettle his stomach. He couldn't help but replay the scene earlier this morning back in his mind. 

\--

He didn’t wake up early this morning, despite the screeching alarm on his bedside table. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before due to his stepfather coming home drunk. Usually when his stepfather came home, he would trash the house until he passed out. The house would remain trashed until Yamaguchi would eventually have to clean the mess up. It soon became a routine, cleaning up after his stepfather when he awoke and hiding the evidence to spare from being hit. 

Today though he had been woken up to his step father's rough hands around his neck, preventing air from filling his desperate lungs. Screams got caught in his throat and all the helpless Yamaguchi could feel was the older man’s fingernails cutting into his flesh as he gripped at his throat. He could see the thick, scarlet blood already trailing down his pale, freckled neck.

“Is there any specific reason why the house isn’t cleaned up by now?” His father spat at him, the smell of whiskey suffocating him when he tried to take in labored breaths. 

Yamaguchi could feel his thin body trembling under his stepfather’s grasp. He was use to the pain of slaps and kicks, but the suffocation was scarier than all of the other pain he’s ever endured. He could feel himself losing control of his consciousness, which was the scariest part. The thought of losing Tsukki, he couldn’t bare it. He held on for as long as he could, not giving his stepfather the satisfaction of seeing his weakness, but eventually his body refused to participate. His eyes started to droop and his heart slowed, but his father let go before he was dragged into darkness. 

Yamaguchi could tell his father didn't plan on letting him go that easy, but they were interrupted by a distant knock at the front door.

“You’re good for nothing.” “Your mother should have killed you when she had the chance, you worthless piece of shit.” His father snapped, knocking over piles of Yamaguchi’s books that had sat neatly on his shelf moments ago. The shaking boy just whimpered in response.

The heavy steps leaving the room and the loud pounding in his ears cancelled out the words his stepfather told him, which he was thankful for. Although, Yamaguchi wasn't completely oblivious to his stepfather's shouting coming from outside of their house. His stepfather's yells questioned him, but he decided to ignore it. The person outside must have been one of his stepfather's friends or something. 

He finally let himself catch his breath before beginning to lift his aching head off of his pillow. Finally forcing himself out of bed as if nothing had happened, he rubbed his watery eyes and got ready for the day. His mind wandered on Tsukki as he began to clean up his stepfather's mess. When he thought about Tsukki, the time seemed to go by faster. 

\--

 

“Yamaguchi?" Tsukishima's worried eyes darted to the zoned out boy beside him once they finally reached their class. The stares had not died down, which made the blonde boy start to worry why everyone was actually staring at them. He decided to ignore it for Yamaguchi's sake, until he'd find out the reasoning behind it. 

Quickly looking to making sure no one was staring at them yet again, Tsukishima's arm snaked under his and Yamaguchi's desk to grab ahold of the cold, freckled hand he knew all too well. Connecting his warmer fingers with the smaller boy's, he gave his hand a squeeze and saw the life return to his friend's eyes. 

"You okay?" The blonde asked quietly, his voice not bothering to hide the hint of concern. 

The brunette just nodded wordlessly, chewing his lip before picking up his pencil to draw. 

Yamaguchi listened as the teacher lectured, doodling on the side of his paper to keep his thoughts focused on anything but his memories. His heart fluttered when Tsukki would occasionally squeeze his hand to silently ask if he was okay. The brunette's lips turned up in a half smile, squeezing his friend's hand back each time. 

Towards the end of the teacher's lecture while Yamaguchi was drawing, an announcement came over the loudspeaker making the freckled boy jump. The teacher stopped lecturing and the classroom fell to silence as the announcement was made. His head turned to stare at Tsukki as he listened to the announcement over the loudspeaker. 

"Please send Tadashi Yamaguchi immediately to the office, thank you."

As the loud speaker shut off, each head in the classroom darted back to stare at Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi continued to stare at Tsukki with wide eyes, trying to ignore the countless stares on him. The brunette could see the teacher motion for him to be dismissed out the corner of his eye, but his legs felt too numb to move. 

Yamaguchi’s pleading eyes stayed on Tsukishima, watching as the blonde raised his hand. The teacher nodded, allowing him to speak.

“May I please escort Yamaguchi to the office, miss? He told me he’s feeling slightly ill and don’t think it’d be a good idea if he were to walk there by himself.” Tsukishima’s monotone voice echoed throughout the classroom, eyes looking back and forth between the blonde and brunette. The teacher just nodded, returning back to the rest of the lecture.

Not bothering to let go of Yamaguchi’s hand, Tsukishima stood up and calmly guided the other boy out of the classroom. 

When the classroom door shut, Yamaguchi clung to the blonde. His heart raced as his mind asked him millions of questions. 

“Why did they call me down, Tsukki?” His voice broke, unable to contain the emotions spilling out of him. “I’ve never gotten called down before and haven’t even done anything!” 

Tsukishima pursed his lips in response, thinking of the possible reasons why Yamaguchi was sent to the office. The kid wasn’t a bad student, he was quiet, and he didn’t get into any trouble. Yamaguchi was one of the sweetest, most considerate people he knew. Things were not adding up. 

“It could be anything,” Tsukishima answered honestly, feeling the smaller boy tense up against him. “It’s probably not anything bad, though.” 

There was a long pause as they walked to the office, Yamaguchi keeping most of his thoughts to himself until he realized what may have happened. 

“...What if someone found out, Tsukki? What if they told the school?” The brunette was lost in his own thoughts, blurting out nonsense. “My stepfather will kill me Tsukki and I mean it in the literal sense, not the joking kind.” Yamaguchi’s voice shook, willing himself to keep calm. 

“How could they have found out if you haven’t told anyone but me?” The blonde replied, lifting up his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

Yamaguchi stopped walking, pulling Tsukki around to face him. Once he saw the golden eyes focus on him, he began to speak. 

“There was this person knocking on our door this morning while my father was still yelling at me and chok—” Yamaguchi stopped in mid sentence, not wanting to remember much more or get into the extremes of what exactly happened.

“I’m not sure what was going on, but when he left the room to answer the door, I think he started yelling at the person. I don't know who the person was but it may have been someone from school or something.” 

Tsukishima stayed silent, giving him a nod, then continued onward toward the office as he dragged Yamaguchi with him. 

"Tsukki, did you not hear me?" The brunette begged, pulling back on Tsukki's arm but the blonde was much stronger. "Tsukki, stop! We have to leave, we have to get out of here before they can know about—"

Tsukishima came to a halt, turning back to look at the flustered brunette who was now struggling to get out of his grasp. "Tadashi, listen to me." 

Yamaguchi stilled, glancing up to give the taller boy his attention. Tsukki never called him by his first name. 

"If you tell them and don't deny what they already know, your stepfather will most likely go to prison. Then you can live with me, since you pretty much do anyways." The blonde spoke softly, lifting his hand up to cradle the freckled boy's warm, rosy cheek. "Everything is going to be okay." 

Yamaguchi gaped at him, his eyes wide and his heart thumping against his chest. He wanted everything to be okay, he really did. The bigger voice in his head was telling him to tell them the truth, but the smaller voice was telling him to run. That Tsukki couldn't save him from his stepfather. Tsukki couldn't save him from his past, his thoughts, or his memories. They were still going to haunt him, minute by minute and day by day. 

When he suddenly felt Tsukki's soft, warm lips move passionately against his, he couldn't help but push the smaller voice away. His heart spoke for him, returning the innocent kiss with even more passion. He loved Tsukki, in so many ways that no one could begin to understand. Their mouths moved together in need and want, but both quickly ended the kiss when they realized that they were still in school. More importantly, in the hallway where anyone could see them if they passed by. Instead, they just stared at each other with the same tenderness in their eyes.

"Promise you won't leave me?" Yamaguchi repeated the same line over again, his voice was small, almost childlike. The blonde stared at him, his shining, golden eyes burning a hole right through Yamaguchi's swollen heart.

"Promise."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i read this chapter back and i dont like it at all but i tried  
> atleast i have sort of an idea for this now  
> and i have no idea why all of my chapters end up being kind of emotional

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were sat in a conference room surrounded by school officials talking amongst themselves. When they arrived, the officials had tried to kick Tsukishima out saying that “Yamaguchi’s problem did not pertain to him”, but he refused to leave Yamaguchi in the room alone with them. He knew that if he did, the boy wouldn’t have the guts to speak up for himself or tell the truth. 

After another 5 minutes of waiting for the officials to talk to them, an uptight looking older man finally spoke up to Yamaguchi. 

“Yamaguchi, are you sure you didn’t mistake your father’s abuse as something different?” The older man with specks of gray hair asked, raising his eyebrows at the fragile, younger boy shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Maybe your father wasn’t actually hurting you, but motivating you.”

Tsukishima clenched his teeth at the older man’s words, glancing over at Yamaguchi. He could see the boy tense at the question, but relax as soon as he caught Tsukki’s eyes. 

“I-I’m sure.” The brunette stuttered out, looking back down at his hands. The blonde could tell the smaller boy wasn’t planning on saying much to them. He knew that Yamaguchi hated being the center of attention, whether it be good or bad. The brunette seemed to isolate himself from the situation completely after that, not talking at all when being asked questions. 

“Well if you can't provide us with some kind of proof, then how do we know you are not lying to us?” Another official opposed, giving Yamaguchi a blank, almost bored expression. 

Why would someone lie about something like this? Tsukishima tightened his fists, wanting nothing more than to sass back at his officials. It was common sense not to object the elders, but it was hard for Tsukishima to hold his tongue this time. The fact that these trained officials were not even putting the information they knew together was making his blood boil.

“What exactly kind of proof do you need?” Tsukishima stepped in for Yamaguchi when he didn’t answer, but couldn't help the frustration that escaped his voice. “If there wasn’t any proof then how did you find out about this anyways?” 

All of the officials eyes darted back to the flustered blonde, who had absolutely no problem staring right back at them. 

“We haven’t seen any signs from Yamaguchi telling us that he’s being abused.” The older man pointed out, locking his eyes with the blonde as if to challenge him. “Don’t you think he would have at least told someone if it were true?” 

Tsukishima just stared at him in disbelief. It may have been a bit senseless to fight back, but he couldn’t stand downright dumb people. He also couldn’t stand to see Yamaguchi shaking in the chair next to him for much longer either.

“The reason why you haven’t seen any signs is because he’s had to hide it from everyone, including me. Do you think he wanted to hide this? Do you think he wanted to be abused?” The venom in Tsukishima’s voice was deadly and he could see the brunette next to him flinch at the harshness of his words towards the officials. He was digging an even deeper hole for the both of them.

“If you can’t understand why he had to hide it, then you all are some pretty stupid people.”

The officials sat back in shock, murmuring quietly so both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima wouldn't hear what they were saying. Tsukishima could tell they were a bit speechless by the way the he spoke to them, but it wasn’t like the blonde cared. He just sat back in his seat as well, narrowing his eyes at all of them in annoyance.

While the officials kept talking to one another for another minute, Tsukishima took the time to resort his eyes back on the freckled boy. He could see Yamaguchi trying to keep his bottom lip from trembling and Tsukishima could only wonder what was going on inside his head. When he caught the boy’s puffy brown eyes looking up at him, he mouthed a quick “Don't worry” to try and sooth the boy’s mind. Yamaguchi just returned Tsukishima’s reassurance with a sad, distant smile that he struggled to put on his trembling lips.

Clearing his throat, the older man stripped the two boys eyes away from each other, giving them both a disapproving stare. Tsukishima had to bite his tongue from spitting out anymore at them.

“If what you say is true, Yamaguchi, then we’ll have to report this to the authorities. They will deal with it from there. We are done now.”

Yamaguchi’s reddened eyes suddenly sprung up to look at the older man who was already getting up from his seat with the rest of the officials. His expression was filled with panic and his face paled as if he had just come back into reality. 

“They won’t send me away right? I can stay here and live with Tsukki—” The freckled boy paused, his cheeks flaming before immediately correcting the nickname he’s always called his friend. “Tsukishima. His family has been caring for me since I was little, so I don’t think they’d have much of a problem with me.” 

The older man gave Yamaguchi a sideways glance and chuckled at the surprise response. The man just shook his head, speaking to Yamaguchi as if he were a 5 year old. 

“That’s not up to me, kid. And anyways, it’s quite rare that the authorities will put you in the hands of someone who is not your family, Yamaguchi. I’m sorry, but everything will be worked out tomorrow. In the meantime, you can stay with your friend.” 

The officials shuffled out of the room quietly, closing the door to leave both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima in a painful silence. Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose, realizing how much he just blew Yamaguchi’s chances of staying. He thought of ways he could convince the authorities to allow Yamaguchi to stay with his family, but nothing was coming to him.

“Tsukki..” Yamaguchi’s emotionless voice murmured out to the blonde, shattering his train of thought. 

“You promised..”

Tsukishima’s heart raced as he glanced over at the brunette, watching the smaller boy break in front of him again. Yet, this time it was worse.

“Tsukki, you promised you wouldn’t leave me..” 

The blonde stared at the boy in confusion, reaching his hand out to him, but Yamaguchi flinched and leaned away from Tsukishima’s touch.

“They’re going to take me away, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi stared at the ground, his eyes clouding with tears that refused to fall. 

Guilt washed over Tsukishima’s face and in that moment he didn’t know what to do. Yamaguchi was paying for what he said. It was his fault. He took their only opportunity at making things work and stomped it on the ground carelessly in front of him. 

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” The brunette paused, letting his watery brown eyes wander to the window on the opposite side of the room that let the sunlight in from outside. 

Tsukishima’s face burned as he listened to Yamaguchi continue to speak. He wanted to tell Yamaguchi to stop. He wanted to get up from his seat and cover the boy’s mouth and comfort him, but his voice and his body felt paralyzed.

“While you were talking to the officials, I had been thinking. I realized that I caused this and I involved you in it. You don’t belong in this mess, Tsukki. This is my fault. I don’t want to be the one to cause pain, Tsukki." The brunette sniffled, rubbing his nose with the back of his raggedy sleeve.

"I’ve suffered through others causing me pain and I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to hurt you because I love you too much.” Yamaguchi’s freckled face scrunched up as he struggled to continue. 

“I think it’s best if I..I leave. Not with the authorities, or with anyone, just by myself.” 

Tsukishima’s stomach dropped, his heart aching as he let Yamaguchi’s words sink in. He couldn't imagine being in a world without Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi showed him a different life. He showed him how to enjoy the world and life's simplicity even though his own life was shit. With no Yamaguchi, there would be no world for Tsukishima. Before he met Yamaguchi, he was selfish and self-centered. He still was selfish and a bit self-centered, but Yamaguchi helped him find a part of him that he never would have found. A softer, more considerate side of him. He would have never known what love was. Yamaguchi was the only person who could warm his cold, bitter heart.

His mind and body felt as if it were crashing and caging in on him. It was then he realized that he had been unconsciously wiping at the strange liquid pooling down his own cheeks. He had never cried a day in his life. 

“I can find a job and get money, and then I can find somewhere to stay in the meantime. Then maybe I can start new and try and forget everything...” 

“Yamaguchi,” The blonde finally spoke up, interrupting the freckled boy’s sentence. His usual monotone voice wavered with emotions that he had never experienced before. “I’m not losing you.”

Yamaguchi tore his eyes away from the window to look at the blonde who had a single tear rolling down his face. His heart skipped as he took in the painful look on Tsukki’s face. He had never seen Tsukki show such raw emotion to anyone; he was still so beautiful. His golden eyes were so intense and lost, it was almost blinding. Yamaguchi couldn’t keep his own bubbling emotions in any longer.

“If you’re leaving, then I'm leaving.”

The brunette sucked in his lips, muffling a sob before rushing up to throw his arms around Tsukki. The two held each other, Yamaguchi tucked protectively in his lap and Tsukishima's arms wrapped tightly around the smaller boy’s waist. Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi’s wet face against his neck, but he didn’t care. He could feel and hear Yamaguchi lips mumbling continuous, insignificant “love you's” against his neck, but he disregarded them. He let himself cry silently into Yamaguchi’s shirt, rubbing the freckled boy’s back in a rhythmic pattern. 

It felt like hours before the pair finally calmed and left the school. They didn’t know where they were headed or how they were going to survive on their own, but they knew that if they were separated it would kill them both. 

“Tsukki..?” Yamaguchi glanced up at the blonde, his messy brown hair ruffling in the autumn breeze. They sat on a bench at the nearest train station, both of them holding tickets to a town they had never heard of. Yamaguchi just knew that when Tsukki had bought the tickets, he overheard him ask the desk lady what the furthest possible place the train went. “Where are we going?”

"To a place we'll now call home."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i suck at updating

The train ride was pretty long and uneventful, but mostly full of sleep. The ride was only estimated to be seven to eight hours, but it ended up being around ten. There were a few passengers on the train with them, but they mostly minded their own business. Once in awhile they would glance over to see a lightly snoring Yamaguchi sprawled out ontop of Tsukishima and some empty seats, but they didn’t comment anything to them.

The train soon came to a stop, dinging loudly to aware the passengers that they were arriving at their awaited destination soon. Yamaguchi was still fast asleep on Tsukishima’s lap, stirring slightly at the loud dings.

“We're here,” The blonde murmured softly to the grumbling brunette, who was still half asleep despite all of the commotion. Tsukishima had to keep from escaping a laugh on the hushed train as Yamaguchi slowly arose, his eyes squinting to adjust and his hair sticking up in every direction. Instead he just raised an eyebrow at the brunette, his eyes reflecting the humor.

“..What?” Yamaguchi frowned at the blonde, his voice cutely groggily from the large amount of sleep.

“Nothing,” Tsukishima mused, a small smirk resting on his amused face.

The freckled boy tried to give Tsukki a nasty look, but failed miserably. This time the blonde couldn’t help but laugh.

“Your hair,” Tsukishima chuckled again, reaching out his hand to ruffle the boy’s already messy hair. “It’s a mess, just saying.”

Yamaguchi’s cheeks warmed, swatting away Tsukki’s hand and patting down his hair with his own hands. “Now you’ve only made it worse,” The smaller boy whined, trying to unsuccessfully fix his hair but soon giving up.

“You’re so annoying,” Yamaguchi sighed, rolling his eyes at Tsukki.

“Says the person who used me as a pillow for ten hours straight.” The blonde shot back, absentmindedly fixing his glasses and the headphones around his neck.

“Destination: Aomori complete. You may now exit the train, thank you.”

Yamaguchi sat unmoved, watching with wide eyes as Tsukki began to stand, gathering all of the things they were able to bring. Tsukishima took notice in the other boy’s still position, glancing his way in confusion.

“We're actually here?” The brunette asked dumbfounded, his eyes searching the passengers who were now exiting the train.

“Did you not hear all of the announcements saying that we were here or did you become deaf in the past ten hour time span?” Tsukishima stared expressionless at Yamaguchi, grabbing his hand gently before leading him off of the train.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi sulked, grabbing onto the hem of Tsukki’s shirt so that he wouldn’t get lost as they walked through the crowds of people. “You make me look dumb when I’m just as smart as you are.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes searched the area around them as they started to move away from all of the people. The place they had ended up was beautiful. Mountains and towering trees covered the city. Rich red, yellow, and orange colored leaves flew around them as they walked. The astonishing fall colors reminded him of Tsukki and his family. His heart clenched at the thought of Tsukki’s family right now and how worried they must be. He tried to ignore the thought and promised himself he would bring up the situation to Tsukki later.

The brunette’s eyes met the ground, quickly picking up a red and orange speckled leaf that caught his eye and returning back to his pace with the blonde. He admired the leaf, turning it between his nimble fingers. He caught Tsukki glancing at him out the corner of his eye and shrugged.

“Who knows where that leaf has been? The leaf could have germs and bugs all over it,” The blonde muttered, sounding disgusted. His finger pointed to Yamaguchi’s reddened nose from the brisk autumn air. “See you’re already getting sick.”

The freckled boy gaped at Tsukki, silently asking him if he were being serious. “Tsukki…It’s a leaf..” Yamagachi giggled, putting the spinning leaf he was holding up to Tsukki's face so he could study it. “I’m going to keep it as a memory.”

Tsukishima just shook his head and backed away from the leaf in response. “If you get sick, blame yourself not me.”

“I’m not going to get sick from picking up a leaf, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi blanched, clutching tighter to the blonde's shirt.

The two continued to bicker to each other as they walked down endless streets of Aomori. Sometimes they'd stop to look at mountains as they went over bridges and hills. Yamaguchi chattered on about how he liked the view of the mountains and trees, whereas Tsukishima didn’t care. The brunette did most the talking, but he didn't mind.

Coming to a stop at a small, vacant hotel, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima exhausted bodies and feet decided that it was their best option. The cost was fairly cheap and the room they had gotten for the price wasn't bad, even though it only had one bed.

“ _Tsukkiii_ , you know we have to share the bed, right?” The smaller boy stuck out his tongue childishly, bouncing back on the queen sized bed that filled most of their room.

The blonde chewed his cheek, sitting down at the edge of the bed. Yamaguchi stopped bouncing and climbed up to move closer to the blonde.

“What’s wrong?” Yamaguchi questioned, leaning his slender body against the blonde's back and resting his arms on Tsukki’s shoulders. “You seem more annoyed than usual. If it's about sleeping in the same bed, I can sleep on the floor.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes at the brunette's idiotic remark. “Shut up. You're not sleeping on the floor."

"...It's just this whole _running away_ situation. The fact that were just suppose to live here and pretend that everything is normal? We're what, not even eighteen and here we are thinking we can live on our own,” Tsukishima picked at his fingers as he continued on openly with his thoughts. “I can’t protect you from everything. What happens if I’m not here and you have a panic attack or something? Then what?”

The brunette watched the blonde pick at his nails nervously, listening to him ramble on. He already knew that Tsukki wasn't always going to be there for him. He knew that Tsukki wouldn't be able to help him at times. He's had to live with everything before he had even met Tsukki.

"Tsukki, I've lived my whole life relying on myself. I've gotten this far and I'm fine, see?" The brunette gave him a smile, wrapping his arms around the blonde's neck for reassurance. "You've helped me a lot, we've gotten this far, but I can take care of myself!" He swiftly leaned forward, pecking the blonde on the cheek below his glasses. "You don't have to worry about me anymore."

"Okay," Tsukishima's face flushed pink from the brunette's shameless affection. "Just..tell me if there's ever anything wrong, okay?"

Yamaguchi only nodded, again, and couldn't deny the same sinking feeling in his heart that he got when he knew he was lying to Tsukki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow [my tumblr](http://shionani.tumblr.com/) for haikyuu trash


End file.
